royul_thyme: (c'mon let's have an adventure! :D)
 I GOT A BEGTA I GOT A BETA I GOT A BETA

in other news, bridesmaid dress shopping went way better than i expected. no one killed anyone even once! i didn't wanna punt Analise in the girlsack! and they only went wild grabbing dresses of their own choosing that the bride--my nakama, teme--would absolutely abhor in one store, and it's the one where we only liked one pair of boots, she and i, and she bought boots later that day anyhow and omg everything's coming together

also, update on my feelings: i've decided to just take what the world's given me. i'll play the hand i've been dealt, support her however i can, and just be whatever else she needs me. whatever he can't give her, i will. and whatever he does give her, i'll just give 103 fold better. he makes her miserable most of the time, but i'll keep her hating life less. it's the little things, really.

this is all i can do. and as long as i'm with her, i don't really care. i'd like to hold her, and leave my hand on her shoulder for a little longer than friends do, and kiss be allowed to stare into her beautiful hazel eyes and sappy stuff like that. but i can't. so I'll keep being her moirail, as pale as can be.

I REALY HOPE I GET IN TO THE PLACE I'M APPING TO THO
royul_thyme: (um...i'll be here. waiting.)
my friend said that, when i was kissing my boyfriend for the first time, first day we met after we were dating, and didn't let him grope me--

that he probably was thinking "god she's so middle school"

she said "I would have." (Thought "She's so middle school," that is.)

Even women support this stupid misogynistic view of 'you have to put out if you're in a relationship'

which makes it even more confusing that she does, because

i'm not ready for sex. and i don't want to be gropin or be groped the first couple make-out sessions. i feel disgusting. and it's weird.

so if I'm with her...

anyway, she also said once that you can't be in a romantic relationship if you haven't kissed. but she just said that you have to let yourself be felt up, over or under the shirt, when kissing for the first time, or you're acting like a 12-year-old kid...

if all this is true, or even if everyone believes this...

I'm never being in a romantic relationship again.

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Nico

July 2014

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